if (randomBool()) {
	d.w([

TR(chat_dermot_left(QL + 'I'+APOS+'ll be there in a moment.\u00A0 Feel free to take a look around.' + QR, 4)),

TR(chat_dermot_left(QL + 'Here, try a scoop of this new batch of ice cream.\u00A0 ' + [
	'It'+APOS+'s almond ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s angelfood cake ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s apple ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s apricot ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s banana ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s blackberry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s blueberry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s chocolate ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s chocolate chilli pepper ice cream.\u00A0 ...What'+APOS+'s the matter?',
	'It'+APOS+'s cinnamon ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s coconut ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s coffee ice cream.\u00A0 No caffeine.',
	'It'+APOS+'s cranberry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s eggnog ice cream.\u00A0 No alcohol.',
	'It'+APOS+'s fig ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s garlic ice cream.\u00A0 ...What'+APOS+'s the matter?',
	'It'+APOS+'s garlic tomato ice cream.\u00A0 ...What'+APOS+'s the matter?',
	'It'+APOS+'s grape ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s grapefruit ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s guava ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s hazelnut ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s honey ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s huckleberry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s kiwi fruit ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s lemon ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s lime ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s macadamia nut ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s mango ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s maraschino cherry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s mint ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s opuntia ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s orange ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s passion orange ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s peach ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s peanut ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s pear ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s peppermint ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s pineapple ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s pistachio ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s plum ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s pumpkin ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s raspberry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s red grape ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s rice pudding ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s strawberry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s sweet cream ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s tangerine cherry ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s tomato ice cream.\u00A0 ...What'+APOS+'s the matter?',
	'It'+APOS+'s vanilla ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s vanilla bean ice cream.',
	'C'+APOS+'est la cr\u00EAme de vanille fran\u00E7aise.\u00A0 Qu'+APOS+'est-ce que vous...\u00A0 ...\u00A0 Oh, sorry, force of habit.',
	'It'+APOS+'s wassail ice cream.\u00A0 No alcohol.',
	'It'+APOS+'s watermelon ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s white chocolate ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s white grape ice cream.',
	'It'+APOS+'s zucchini ice cream.'
].random() + QR, 4)),

TR(
chat_brad_left(QL + '...so, that'+APOS+'s the story.' + QR, 2) +
chat_dermot_right(QL + 'Is Billy doing alright?' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_brad_left(QL + 'Every now and then he calls out my name.\u00A0 But he doesn'+APOS+'t seem to recognize people.\u00A0 He'+APOS+'s better now than he was, and Merrill'+APOS+'s been helping too, but the recovery is slow.\u00A0 It pains me to see him like this.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'I'+APOS+'m sure it must.\u00A0 Is there anything I—' + QR, 4)) +
TR(
chat_brad_left(QL + 'Dermot, a visitor.' + QR, 2) +
chat_dermot_right(QL + 'So there is.' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_brad_left(QL + 'We should talk later.\u00A0 ...Oh, and could I take some of your chilli peppers home with me?\u00A0 They'+APOS+'re for Billy'+APOS+'s favorite dish.\u00A0 At least, the dish he used to...\u00A0 That I...\u00A0 ...' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'Brad, it'+APOS+'s <em>alright</em>, I understand.\u00A0 Take all the chillis you want.\u00A0 In fact, help yourself to the kitchen.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(
chat_brad_left(QL + 'Thank you, Dermot.' + QR, 2) +
chat_dermot_right(QL + 'One step at a time, Brad.' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_dermot_left(QL + 'What brings you here?' + QR, 4)),

TR(chat_zoah_left(QL + 'HALT.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_zoah_left(QL + '...I MEAN, HELLO.\u00A0 ARE YOU HERE FOR DERMOT'+APOS+'S NEW BATCH OF CHOCOLATE CHILLI ICE CREAM?' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_right('<i>::coming in::</i>\u00A0 ' + QL + 'I doubt it, ZOAH.\u00A0 No one has wanted to try it, except for the occasional visitor who likes molë sauce.\u00A0 But not too many visitors are from southeastern México.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_zoah_left(QL + 'I THINK IT IS DELICIOUS, DERMOT.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'Great.\u00A0 I'+APOS+'ll keep making it for your sake.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(
chat_zoah_left(QL + 'I CAN'+APOS+'T GET ENOUGH.' + QR, 2) +
chat_dermot_right(QL + 'Thanks, ZOAH.' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_dermot_left(QL + 'You'+APOS+'re not here for the ice cream, right?' + QR, 4)),

TR(
chat_hammer_left(QL + 'Hey, bro.' + QR, 2) +
chat_dermot_right(QL + 'Heyas, Hammer.' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'Hammer, you'+APOS+'re a good mechanic, right?' + QR, 4)) +
TR(
chat_hammer_left(QL + 'The best, bro.' + QR, 2) +
chat_shitan_right(QL + 'Hello, Hammer.' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_hammer_left(QL + 'Oh, hey to you too, Dr. Uzuki.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'What is your experience with plumbing systems?' + QR, 4)) +
TR(
chat_hammer_left(QL + 'Some.\u00A0 Why, bro?' + QR, 2) +
chat_shitan_right(QL + 'Uh, Dermot...' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'It'+APOS+'s the incoming pipe to the home.\u00A0 The water-tight seal'+APOS+'s been permeated, and now there'+APOS+'s some mud in the pipes.\u00A0 The pipes need to be resealed and flushed out.\u00A0 I'+APOS+'d do it myself, but I'+APOS+'ve been occupied collaborating on a project with Dr. Uzuki.\u00A0 I can pay you for the work.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(
chat_hammer_left(QL + 'Sure, bro.\u00A0 Any&mdash;' + QR, 2) +
chat_shitan_right(QL + '&mdash;Excuse me, Dermot.' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'What is it?' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_shitan_right(QL + 'I don'+APOS+'t think plumbing is Hammer'+APOS+'s most proficient skill.\u00A0 I wouldn'+APOS+'t recommend having him work on water pipes.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_hammer_left(QL + 'Whaya mean?\u00A0 I'+APOS+'m great at what I do.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_shitan_right(QL + 'Yes, Hammer, it'+APOS+'s unquestionable that you'+APOS+'re an outstanding and resourceful mechanic, and I'+APOS+'m grateful for your service.\u00A0 But do you remember the showers in D-Block?' + QR, 4)) +
TR(
chat_hammer_left(QL + '...' + QR, 2) +
chat_dermot_right(QL + 'What happened?' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(
chat_hammer_left(QL + 'That was an accident.' + QR, 2) +
chat_shitan_right(QL + 'Yes, but remember what happened?' + QR, 2)
) +
TR(chat_hammer_left('<i>::sigh::</i>\u00A0 ' + QL + 'I could have <em>sworn</em> I reconnected the pipes to the water...' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_shitan_right(QL + 'Water pipes are clearly marked, Hammer.\u00A0 But that certainly <em>wasn'+APOS+'t water</em> coming out of the shower heads.\u00A0 Every single fixture was ruined.\u00A0 Every pipe in the building needed to be replaced.\u00A0 I think you need more experience as a plumber.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + 'This could be good practice for him.\u00A0 Hammer, I'+APOS+'ll show you everything later.\u00A0 You can do the work, and I'+APOS+'ll still pay you for it.\u00A0 Bring Rico along, I'+APOS+'ll feed you both a hot meal.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_hammer_left(QL + 'Thanks, bro, we'+APOS+'d enjoy that.\u00A0 I promise I won'+APOS+'t destroy your&mdash;' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_right(QL + '&mdash;Excuse me a moment, Hammer.' + QR, 4)) +
TR(chat_dermot_left(QL + 'Hello.' + QR, 4))

	].random());
} else {
	d.w(TR('<td class="t3" colspan="4">No one seems to be here at the moment.</td>'));
}